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Wow almost 5 years! How times have changed

Since the last time I was here... Ayoub and I broke up, sadly, but I wish him well and enjoy still being friends.
That being said, I got married, and am now in a polyamorous dynamic. There are ups and downs, but ultimately I love this life and the opportunities to fully explore my relationships to their full depth.

I look forward to writing more sexy stories.

Reading

I've been reading Rick Riordan's "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" series, and I have also been listening to Blackmore's Night. What do the two have to do with each other? Well, as I do with just about any book I read, I have thought up what kind of character I would be if I were in the series. I have come up with Lorelai. Not sure who her parents are, but she is a dirge/troubador in the true meaning of those words. She sings, strums her guitar, or plays her wooden flute. She can bolster the spirits of her comrades, taunt her enemies, and with certain words, she can blast back those who would oppose her. The catch is that she is blind. Don't ask me why having a blind hero is so fascinating to me, but I like the thought of using other senses rather than sight (see Stargazers at GypsyAudio.org for reference).

So that's what I wanted to share.

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Silence Broken

Oh geez, I stopped posting again... yea that may not be the best thing, but I've just been so busy.

I went to Balticon and got to be famous, signing autographs, doing readings, being on panels. It has consumed my life.

Figured out that between everything I was doing I was spreading myself too thin, so I culled down some of what I was working on, including working on HG World with Ayoub. This would probably be better for our relationship.

Moved to a new schedule at work which will hopefully give me more time for writing. I do have the next installment of the "Satan/Kitten" story started, but Kitten is stuck, and so am I. Dragonsong might be an outlet instead until I get the time to do some more research.

Well off to the phones.

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Never ending nightmare

If you pray, send good thoughts, vibes, or whatever, could you send some my way?

I don't ask for much save for random suggestions here or there, but my life has literally exploded and not altogether in a good way. My health has taken a turn and I am facing a lot of difficulty as far as keeping my job and mobility... so just do whatever it is you crazy people do. I don't want to spend another night in the ER keeping Ayoub awake with worry.

You are all so very wonderful people and I thank you for even taking the time to read this.

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What's in a Name


Ok my LJ people, I need help. No, not that kind of help. I am quite happily insane and content to remain so.

I am writing a weekly blog article for Flying Island Press about the pros, cons and costs of scifi/fantasy gadgetry if they were to be a part of our mainstream society. The question is... what do I call it?

My wonderful ayoub  has given me a couple of suggestions. "What if we made it so?" and "Analyzing Speculative Shinies"

Any other suggestions?

FREE AT LAST


So as some or many of you know I have been going through a divorce... That's very helpful since I am hoplessly inlove with someone else. That being said, I got a nice surprise as I was going through my mail last night. My divorce decree was finalized. Meaning OMG IT'S FINALLY OVER!

The first thing I did was to call ayoub . He was groggy since it was around 5 am his time. "I need you to wake up."  "Why what's wrong?"  "I got my divorce decree in. It is over." *Fits of slightly hysterical laughter.

Needless to say I am incredibly relieved and happy, even though I am also feeling a little out of it. Been dizzy for the past week or so.

Now I need to get ready to go out and I need to find a wedding gift of two of my best friends, and a dress if I have enough funds.

Catch you all later. And yes I promise to write more for DragonSong and Kitten.

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Off for the weekend

It is almost 5 am... I am heading to the bus to go to the airport to head to NC for a much needed break with some friends. Sadly that means time away from Ayoub. :(  But I haven't seen these friends in a year or more so it will be great for my morale.

Be good while I am gone. Note that I am not defining what "good" is... I will leave that to your discretion.

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He makes me sing again...

So a lot of you are friends with Ayoub (the man who makes me so happy it is ridiculous). He has been posting a lot about how I make him feel, so I think it is only fair that I do the same.

In my previous relationship I was trapped with guilt  and fear... I mean that quite literally.  Every time I attempted to reach for a dream and pursue it, I was told that I either wasn't good enough, cheesy, goofy, stupid, etc. This from the person who was supposed to encourage me. He left me in a world of fear at his temper. He would attack inanimate objects when frustrated at a video game or something... like a child having a temper tantrum, but with severe and expesive concequences. Everything was left to me to do, even when he had been home all day and I had been working. I was devalued as he kept reminding me, "You don't do any real work. You just sit on your ass all day and take phone calls."

This all had been going on for years and I was at my breaking point...

Ayoub and I had known each other for awhile and while we were both fairly enamored with each other, he was able to separate himself from his emotions to break down what I was going through. Ultimately, the decision to leave my husband was my choice that had been coming for a long time.

That's the background... Here's the current situation...

Of late I have been going after my dreams:
Writing
Auditioning
Singing

Singing is the biggest part of this. Before I didn't feel happy enough to sing. I would skip through songs to just hear instrumental music when I would drive home. I would take longer to get home so that I would avoid being there.

I sing now, unabashedly joyful and smiling so much that my cheeks hurt. The lyrics to this song really do apply:
"You make me shine like the sun, fall out of bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head, spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night. You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe, shine like gold. buzz like a bee. Just the thought of you can drive me wild. Oh, you make me smile."

And I do sing, continue to sing for him...

Hope you all have dental insurance because when we really get together, you all might get cavities.

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Message Received


Got a packet in the mail today. Inside was a headset, a box of chocolates and a card. The card read:

To Laura, My Love

So natural a feeling
Voice keeps me breathing
Inhaling three words
Spoken by you
Exhaling the same
To say I love you!

All my love...
ayoub 

Yes. I am giddy. It even smells like him. Can't stop smiling.
Thank you postal service for delivering this little bit of heaven to me.

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 (Stolen from Writer's Block) I think mine would be Tuaca, Godiva, and a hint Amaretto. And that would be the DragonSong.

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